What is love?

A question I thought I knew the answer too, but ultimately didn’t have a clue!

How do I know this….well I’ll tell you.

I was in a relationship from 17 too 28, had a beautiful daughter, house, dog, cat, married, everything I should want right? NO, it was toxic, abusive and left me with emotional scars that still plague my brain now 5 years after I left.

We look at the media….celeb life, tv personalities, ok magazine, MTV and instantly get this unrealistic, narcissistic view of what we need in life…

It creates fake life’s, unhappy unrealistic goals of money and how we look is top priority which now includes putting gems on our vaginas, cement in our faces and sucking fat out. That we forget about personality, family and how not too wind up a sociopath with good teeth and shit loafers.

I thought I was in a normal relationship, got what I wanted, phones, plush wedding, designer clothes and jewelry, trips out, big tv but at the price of I accepted to be ignored, told I was useless, my friends didn’t really like me, changed who I was incase my friendly demeanor came across as flirty and I upset my husband. We weren’t mutually invested, i gave my all and he expected it but gave me nothing in return. Sex wasn’t fun it felt forced, expected and undignified. It was what I thought I deserved and I just carried on blindly.

In modern Life now we forget the simple pleasures, a small gesture of kindness, the way someone shows their affection by being a nice person….not buying you roses because they’ve been out all night and don’t want a row or jewellery because they made you cry for days and want it erased.

The phrase ‘love hurts’……bullshit! No it doesn’t, nor should it.

I’ve been in a relationship now for nearly 10 months, I still find it agonisingly hard due to past experiences and excepting what I deserve, but if your here, hang on in there!

Kisses on the forehead, holding hands as you wander round, sharing the household responsibilities, having a disagreement without fear of shouting or punched walls and intimacy because your so in love, that yo never want too let go.

Love isn’t perfect, ……. it’s compromise, commitment, friendship, honesty and sharing good or bad times.

Its having no money, but happy because you have eachother and anyything else is a bonus.

Love is a two way street in family and friendship, except only respect, love for friendship, give yourself emotionally, don’t love for looks or money it will fade.

If your not happy, feel trapped or scared …reach out, tell someone…get out. Then recoup and be loved how you deserve, because we all deserve it no matter what were told.

Love is kind, love is fun and love lasts.

R x

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