Excuse me, excuse me………..MOVE!


It is easy to forget the difficulties of being a hobbit in ‘Lord of the Rings’ until you have to go shopping in a wheelchair and you are the same height as one.

Shopping whether i buy anything or not is something i love to do, but it can be frustrating and i have to be in a tiptop frame off mind or it can go sour pretty quick.


Unfortunately my favourite shops are usually the ones that have just enough space to navigate round in a wheelchair, with only a gnats cock of room either side. You know the shops i mean that sell artisan products, incense, candles and items that i can easily brake with one wrong move.


But i find even more shops are doing the, cram in as much shit as possible, put random shelves in the middle of aisles with BOGOF lip salves in, it is not cool if i wanted to do an obstacle course, i’d plan a trip to the beach!. There bloody irritating and not just for wheelchair users, but the ever expanding pushchair must struggle.

If this is not annoying enough, there is the ‘doorway conversationalist’, you know the ones that stand in the entrance to a shop usually inbetween the age of 55 – 110, oblivious to anyone else around. These are the old ladies that i end up getting shitty with. Now I have moral’s, i use my p’s and q’s when needed, but how many times do i need to say excuse me! On more than one occasion i have asked 3 times before i then combust in a loud, aggressive tone because someone has acknowledged i am waiting and still continues to talk about Ethels’ hemorrhoids. Move it or lose it old lady!


IMG_20170503_175222_450Last week i ended up with a middle aged man sitting on my lap and no I’m not exaggerating, because my daughter said ‘Was that man trying to kiss you?’. We were at a car meet, gazing at some classic vehicles and i was just about to take a photo of a pristine classic ford escort, when ‘OUCH’ some old dude falls into my lap and fumbles about, looking a bit perplexed. He then took far too long to get the fuck off me!. He may off not IMG_20170506_164509_823understood how it happened but i do, he was walking backwards not paying any attention to his surroundings. My reaction was ‘Well I’m not invisible‘ and not one apology from the backwards man, what an arse!


I don’t presume the world owes me a favour, but surely it is not much to ask that you show some common courtesy, look below eye level once in a while, do not cram your shops so full that i end up with underwear attached to my chair and walk the way your eyes are facing!

All in all access for the disabled, aren’t that bad but they could be bloody better as well.

©2017 Orchidrock


4 comments on “Excuse me, excuse me………..MOVE!”

  1. This made me laugh…. I feel your pain as when my boys (twins) were young I had a double pusher…. some people are totally oblivious to the world around them!
    Great post 😃🐻


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