Debbie Harry, Princess Diana,J.K Rowling,Angelina Jolie….what is the similiarity?………they are bad ass
It seems all too common now days for women to stay in unhappy relationships, poisonous friendships, dead end jobs with a pervy boss and unable to say exactly what it is we want through fear of upsetting someone or just being unable to assert ourselves.
And it is not surprising we are constantly judging ourselves and comparing ourselves to others when everyone’s thoughts, pictures and lives are plastered all over social media, leading us into a trap of comparing ourselves.
I’m not thin enough, pretty enough, clever enough or worthy enough are all things i hear more often than not from women and sadly even teenagers who are constantly comparing themselves to celebrities on airbrushed magazines and it has set there standards.
We are surrounded by some really fierce women who have overcome pissing in the wind for a long time and come out smiling. J.K Rowling suffered with homelessness and depression but now look at her billion dollar empire and Ang Jolie, well she is so fierce she kicked Brad’s arse to the kerb.
We have become too reliant on needing validation by someone else and ladies it has to stop NOW. Because you know not everyone will like your new haircut, tattoo, lipstick or new friend and that is okay.
We all need to follow a few more rules, to help be strong, independent and worthy of a destiny child’s song! Here are a few too get you started –
- Don’t compare yourself to other women
Its simple, yet really hard for some to follow. We are not all the same and obsessing with someone elses relationship, home, job or looks can quickly escalate into jealousy and you will just end up looking like a prize bitch. So by all means have a role model whether it is your mum, sister, best friend or Debbie Harry. But understand you don’t have to morph into that person and you are certainly not a failure if you don’t match up to their ideologies.
- Look after yourself
Learn to pay attention to your needs. If you need some attention book some spa treatments, have your hair done or nails fixed and make yourself feel good. If your feeling a little low just remember all the things that are brilliant about yourself, whether it is how much you care for your family, the difference you make in the community and find
something you love about your body. It is easy to forget about ourselves while juggling school runs, part-time jobs, after school clubs, making dinner and looking after our significant other. But if you look after yourself better and make sure your needs are met, you will be happier in all relationships and be able to look after your own emotional needs and being co-dependent will become a thing of the past.
- Learn to say ‘NO’
Being someone who is guilty of this, saying yes to help others is all well and good. Until you do it too your own detriment and it is then expected of you and you will be taken for granted, which can be very upsetting. Being assertive is not wrong and is crucial to anybody, I mean you don’t have to start being a dick about it. If someone asks you pass the salt, it’s not necessary to yell ‘NO’ and go into a rant about your right to say no! Real friends will still be your friends if you can’t accommodate their needs, no matter what.
- Fly your freak flag
Be whatever makes you feel confident and sexy in your own skin. It doesn’t matter if you are not following the current trend of fashion or make up and anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool. You can be beautiful whatever you choose, beauty for sure comes within. If you exude happiness and kindness, you will always seem attractive. And similarly accept other’s differences and don’t ever judge someone by outside appearance, its shallow and no one likes a mean girl!
- Don’t be frightened to tell someone they have upset you or that you find what they said offensive.
If somebody has upset you and you think there worth your time and effort, address this and explain why your hurt. Similarly, if someone is being racist, homophobic or sexist and you don’t like it tell them what their saying is offensive and really pissing you off.
- Only surround yourself with honest, kind friends who want the best for you
If you have friends who make you feel less than your worth, unconfident and anxious you are on a slippery slope, falling into a sociopath’s lair and all they care about is their own self gain and using you to make themselves feel better. The types of people we all know, the ladies who insult you but redeem themselves by saying ‘no offense’ or adding a ‘xx’ to the end of a text so it seems like there not being a malicious bitch and only want to talk about themselves, completely uninterested in anything you have to say.
So make sure you are who YOU want to be, learn something new, go to new places, enjoy your alone time and be what you want to see in the world. We should bring back the strong, independent woman and realise being single doesn’t make you ugly or unloved, its means you know your worth.