So introduction time.
I am 31 and mother of one very fiery, independent daughter who is not that dissimilar to Tracy Beaker.
My home is situated in a quiet town in the UK where there is loads too do as long as you only want to visit charity shops or a greasy spoon!
I have Muscular Dystrophy (limb girdle 2B) which is a progressive muscle wasting disease that is inherited through faulty genes. I am now a full-time electric wheelchair user, but am still refusing to let Mr. Pessimist grab me by the metaphorical balls and drag me down!
Life has certainly not been easy, my legs started dislocating at 17 and it took many years, private consultant appointments and tears until I was diagnosed just before my 21st birthday (happy birthday to me).
I moved to my own home when I was 17 with my boyfriend to a small rural village, where gas was still years away, internet was on dial up and the local landlady was possibly trained in Royston Vasey. The small pub was in outdated wall paper which was peeling off the walls, the floors were uneven and you could usually here a tumbleweed blowing across the car park. But was always good for a laugh and piss up with friends on the odd occasion.
During my time in the village my MD got worse so I had to leave my job where I was a dental nurse and begin my stint of being a housewife (FYI why does anyone choose to do that, it’s boring, mundane and well I’m just not domesticated enough), shortly after this my
mum was diagnosed with Cancer and honestly nothing I’ve ever experienced has made me feel more like Satan himself crawled into my chest and stopped my heart, for it felt like a minute. My mum is my best friend and one of the kindest women i have ever known, certainly a surrogate mother to some of my friends and has made me who i am today.
Shortly after my mum was on the mend, I decided to start trying for a baby with my partner, I suppose felt a huge sense of my own physical mortality and wanting my parents to be grandparents and knowing my clock was ticking, it was sooner rather than never!
So after a few months I fell pregnant and all I remember for 4 months was feeling utterly nauseous from morning till night, no appetite and I have been forever put of blueberry wheat’s (I wouldn’t advise vomiting these with milk it was like the exorcist).
My mum had surgery and had some of her bowel removed, but needed to continue with chemotherapy and it seemed now that me leaving work, was all in the grand plan for me, as I chauffeured mum there and back every week which was heartbreaking, not only did i watch my mum go through pain, exhaustion and living in fear. I witnessed all the other patients young and old that were under treatment.
My mum recovered well and my daughter came into the world in 2009 and its true when they say no love compares to that of your child, she was perfect and made anything seem possible.I moved back to my hometown after a few years as the bungalow could not be wheelchair adapted and it would of cost an extortionate amount to adapt.
After 1 year due to tripping over a shoe, I broke my toe in 3 places and due to inactivity, I couldn’t walk well or far (Read ‘It’s only a wheelchair’ for the full story).This led to be needing an electric wheelchair a months down the line. This took some adjustment because I’m very stubborn, independent and it was the next step into getting progressively worse.
But every cloud and that, it gave me a massive new sense of independence that enabled
me to start volunteering at my local youth centre, escape to some different scenery, walk my dog or go to Costa and get ripped off!
I have had a rocky relationship and now live on my own with my daughter, but on very good terms with him as I’m a lover not a fighter at heart and my daughter deserves
better, so we co-parent the best that we can.
So why start a blog, well I have more spare time then I can mentally handle and I have a lot to say most of the time and a huge amount of passion for many subjects. Plus I have found it strangely therapeutic to putting finger to keyboard and be as in-politically correct as i feel necessary.
I hope you enjoy my blog